I'll be there at 10:30 and other maintenance fables

On the British science fiction television series Dr. Who (which has been running for over 40 yrs and is known for exceedingly cheap special effects) the Doctor has a very unique device which he carries everywhere, a "sonic screwdriver" that, coincidently, looks a lot like a universal remote control. If you haven't seen the show the basic plot is the Dr. is a Time Lord. He essentially jumps through time and space in his ship, The Tardis, fixing problems with time and space. Whenever he gets in a jam, be it a spaceship engine stubbornly refusing to outrun an exploding star or a padlocked door in medieval Europe (for a guy who can jump all over the universe at will he seems to spend an inordinate amount of time on Earth), he pulls out the trusty sonic screwdriver. A few seconds of cheap special effects whining and faster than you can say "That's not what Yoda would have done", the problem is fixed.

I think every electrician and plumber in Bangalore is a member of the Dr. Who fan club. It certainly appears they believe their normal screwdrivers have the same power as the sonic screwdriver because regardless of the maintenance issue, this is the only tool they bring.

Laundry room outlet stops working; no problem an electrian will come with a screwdriver (when they come will be addressed shortly). Shower drain plugged; no problem the plumber has a great screwdriver. Your gas leaked and caused an explosion in your kitchen; as soon as we can find a fire fighter with a screwdriver they will get right on that.

Here is an actual conversation I had with the maintenance supervisor in my apartment:
"Hi, is this maintenance? Yes. OK good. The outlet in my laundry room isn't working."
"Uuhh, electrician come."
"Is he coming now?"
"Yes yes now only."
"Ok, I'll wait here. When he comes will be bring a new outlet in case he needs that to fix it or is he just going to look at it?"
"Yes, yes, sir."
"No my question was will he fix it now or is he just going to look at it?"
"Yes, yes, sir."
"You are not answering my question."
"I don't understand sir."

At this point he hung up.

The electrician did come, trusty screwdriver in hand. He looked at the outlet (and I mean just looked, he didn't even try pointing the screwdriver at it and making a whining sound) and tried to start the washing machine. When it didn't start he seemed satisfied that I understood the mystery of electricity well enough to correctly diagnose a nonfunctional outlet. Although my apartment is only 4 months old, I was told I needed to buy the new outlet. I thought I took this very well. I only told him that was absolute bullshit once before realizing no matter what I said if I wanted clean socks I would be buying a new outlet.

As for timeliness... I had another minor electrical problem for which I was told an electrician would come at 10:30 am on a Saturday. The next Monday while I was at work he came. Fortunately my cook was able to let him in. Evidently that problem was fixable through intense looking and a few turns of a screwdriver since I didn't need to buy any parts.

The latest maintenance drama on stage at the A702 Theater is a clogged shower drain. Obviously you'd expect the plumber to need to break several tiles from the bathroom floor to uncover the access point to the pipes right? I am not kidding. There is an access point to the drain that conveniently, is located just under the tiles. Raising it 1 inch would put it at floor level and make this unnecessary but what do I know. Here is what my bathroom floor has looked like for a week now...

At least the drain is now working. Finding replacement tiles seems to be quite a challenge; they have been looking for over a week. I can only assume there is a problem at the tile factory and no one can find a screwdriver.