Greece is the Word

I just returned from a fantastic trip to Greece. Greece was the #1 destination I wanted to visit while in India (Vietnam and Australia are 2&3). This was the first large solo trip I've ever taken so I wasn't quite sure what to expect but it turned out great. I met tons of people from all over but Australia was definitley well represented. I met people from Darwin, Sydney, Perth, Brisbane and Victoria. Some days it seems half of Australia was in Greece.

The trip started with another unknown; this would be my first flight from the new Bangalore International Airport that had just opened about 1 month before. The newspapers had been constantly in "Airport Bashing" mode since it opened; not enough parking, the road to the airport wasn't sufficient, the control tower had problems, not enough taxi drivers, etc. Everyone I talked to however, said it was fine and definitley an improvement over the old one. That isn't a very high standard to set though. It's like saying George Bush Sr. was a better president than George Jr. When you set the benchmark low enough there's only one direction to go.

I had no problems getting to the airport; leaving at 4:30 am definitley helped. I made it through security with 1 hr before my plane left so I went in search of breakfast and coffee. I found the food court and although I could get a Pizza Hut pizza at 5:30 am, unbelievably there was no place serving coffee! So after exploring a little more I found a nice looking coffee bar. I got a raspberry danish and ordered a latte. The danish was eaten and part of the paper read and still no coffee had arrived. I was getting a little anxious as the plane would start boarding in about 15 min. so I went to the counter and asked if my latte was almost ready. "Yes sir, coming." I've been here long enough to know that could mean anything from "I just need to put the lid on it" to "Juan Valdez is picking the beans in Columbia now" so I stayed and watched. I watched as they made two latte's and poured each out. I was about to ask what the problem was when one of the 3 people working on my latte said "Sorry Sir, all milk is bad." Evidently the refrigerator was not working. "OK, I'll just have black coffee." "How about a coffee shake sir?" Hmm... "Doesn't a coffee shake need the milk you just told me was all spoiled?" It was almost as if Wily E. Coyote, Super Genius, was there and the cartoon lighbulb appeared above his head as this realization hit home. "Oh, yes sir" "How about that black coffee then?" 30 seconds later I had a nice cup of black coffee. I am thankful they checked the milk, I give them credit for ensuring they served a high quality drink that wouldn't kill me or make me violently ill on an airplane.

Nine hours later and I was on the ground in Athens! I met a guy named Matt from North Carolina during the layover at Bahrain who also works in India and was also going to Athens. We decided to stick together and figure out the train system. On the train we met a couple from NYC who had been to Athens several times so they gave us the 411 on how the metro system works. It is actually a very good system and very new. Much of it was installed for the 2004 olympics.

After getting on the right train and figuring out I needed to get off at the Omonia Square station we were off. Here are some pics of Omonia Square:
I knew my hotel was on Marni street and should be just a few blocks from the square. So I took out my tour book, no chance of not being mistaken for a tourist as I was wearing a 40lb backpack - all my provisions for 9 days on my back, no whimpy little "wheelie" suitcases or duffel bags for me. After trying to get my bearings I pointed at a street and asked one of the vendors if that was Marni. He pointed in exactly the opposite direction; so much for gathering my bearings with my uncanny sense of direction. After a little trial and error I did eventually find the Art Hotel. The Art Hotel is a little boutique hotel with fun stuff like a big red chair in the lobby with a big red foot stool that looks like a big red tennis ball and is teather to the chair. Clifford the Big Red Dog would be right at home. There is an outdoor cafe literally across the street where I learned all about Greek beer - Mythos and Alpha, both very good. The street out front was rather busy but I didn't mind. Here is the lobby and the street at night. I might look like a tourist with my backpack but at least I don't have a goofy hat like this guy.


Matt and I met up for dinner at the top of Lykavittos Hill, the highest point in Athens. The views are spectacular Looking down on the Acropolis

The next day was a day trip to Delphi. Fantastic! Delphi is a 3 hour drive from Athens so I booked a package tour. For those who don't know about Delpi, in ancient Greece Delphi was home to the Oracle of Delphi. A blind woman who could foresee the future. She did this by sitting all day on a tripod placed above a volcanic vent that emitted sulphur gas. Yes, like fortune tellers throughout history right up to today she relied on the power of mind altering chemicals to glimpse the opaque ether of the future. Maybe economists and meteoroligists should try this method, they couldn't get much worse. The catch to the Oracles' prophecies was they were never really direct answers, also like all fortune tellers before and since. In one famous episode the king of Athens asked if he should make war on the Persians. "If you cross the river dividing Athens from the Persians you will destroy a great kingdom" was the answer. So he went to war and sure enough he destroyed a great kingdom; his own. Not all that different than the daily horoscope imparting insightful information like "Today you will meet someone new who will impact your life." Anyway here are some photos of the Museum at Delphi and the ruins. For a more complete set of photos click here: http://picasaweb.google.com/pbalthazor/GreeceDelphi


The scenery along the drive was spectacular and just before getting to Delphi we went though a mountain town with the coolest winding roads.

Finds from Delphi displayed in the museum;



The ruins.
This is near where the Oracle actually sat. Pretty cool stuff!
Two views from above the amphitheater looking down at most of the ruins. The colums on the left in each photo are the columns in the first photo. The mountain setting is spectacular and shows just how much work had to go into creating this site.

This is the ruin of a stadium 200 yards long that seated several thousand spectators. Carved right from the mountain.
One final view of the ruins. The wall on the right is inscribed with thousands of names of people who won events in the stadium.

Day 2 started with a 1/2 day tour of Athens.

Evidently Athenians enjoy their Starbuck's coffee. I saw a couple of these 10' tall Starbuck's cups around the city. I think a cup this size with whip cream on top has around 10,000,000 calories so you probably want to limit yourself to 1 per week.

The new Olympic stadium. There are tons of tours just like the one I was on. They all stop at the same places. Sometimes the tourists are more interesting than the location. For instance this lady evidently thinks gaudy black pants with areas of mesh replacing solid fabric is a good look for her - to each his/her own...


The Parlaiment bldg.

These are the ruins of the Temple of Zeus. Look at how massive the columns are. This temple was the largest in ancient Greece. There are only 15 of the original 104 columns remaining, each 56 ft high. The temple took 650 years to build!
The Acropolis and Parthenon are in the background


Hadrian's arch, the entrance to the Temple of Zeus.

Then it was on to the Acropolis and the Parthenon
Old & New. An ancient wall is the backdrop for this theater at the base of the Acropolis where concerts and plays are still conducted.
The Parthenon - currently undergoing a massive restoration effort


Erechtheion temple. Columns incredibly carved in the shape of 7 beautiful women.


Then I had a day and a half to explore Athens on my own. Here are some random photos from around Athens....


Lunch and dinner at sidewalk cafes. The political roundtable


Just some cool buildings

Academy of the Arts


Athen's does have a graffitti problem. Unfortunately almost all buildings had some graffitti on them. The one on the left is pretty extreme.

Hadrian's library and the Temple of the Winds


Monastiraki flea market a huge collection of the most bizarre junk / treasure including a bowl of tennis balls???

Get ready for the "National" trio: National Gardens, Library and Museum
The gardens are nice and peaceful in the middle of the city.


National Library and National Museum
Some of the incredible items in the National Museum:

That concluded the "cultural" half of my trip. Next it was off to the islands of Paros and Santorini...

Blue Star Ferries got me to Paros.
Not far now to Paros....

My trusty transportation while on Paros (the 200cc dirt bike behind me) I had to convince the rental agency I wouldn't kill myself on it before they rented it to me. After showing my motorcycle license and talking about my 820cc motocycle in America he agreed to take my money.

Two specific places I visited: A marble quary that was last worked to provide the marble for Napoleon's tomb and the Valley of the Butterfly's. Every year millions of these butterflys migrate through this valley.

Images of Paros....

I have to admit, this is one of my favorite "artistic" photos. That is the setting sun forming the flame, the lamp wasn't lit.

On to Santorini.....

Santorini is a volcanic island that used to be roughly circular. Then in 1450 BC the volcano erupted and blew 2/3 of the island away. It also created a tsunami that destroyed the Minoan civilization on Crete. Many archaeologists now believe this was the beginning of the Atlantis legend. (Either that or a race of Aliens colonized an island and for some unknown reason it sank below the sea taking every single person and artifact to oblivion. The most likely scenario is a dramatic change in the Earth's magnetic field caused by the anti-matter fallout from a micro-black hole instantaneously forming and imploding directly over the island. Hey if every other nut case can have an Atlantis theory so can I...). My guide book does a very good job of describing this (the history of Santorini, not Atlantis).

When the volcano blew it created sheer cliffs about 1000' feet high. All the towns on Santorini are built on the top edge of these cliffs. The white specs on top is the town. Getting from the port to the towns is an adventure in itself.

The island on the left is the active volcano.
Once you get there though it is spectacular! Now that's a good sign to see!

My Hotel.

I did a day cruise to the volcano, hot springs and sunset in the town of Oia (pronounce Ee uh). Oia is said to have the most beautiful sunsets in the world. I'll let everyone judge for themselves.
This is the day cruise boate. The guy in the red swimming trunks turned out be from Appleton, WI. Just 25 miles from where I grew up. He attended Appleton West High School where my sister once taught English. That's what is great about traveling, you never know who you will meet. (Note I resisted the urge to make a bad Forrest Gump-Box of Chocolates reference)

Debarking on the volcano
The view of Santorini from the volcano
This is the volcano. Pretty desolate. Note to self: Next time I plan to hike on a volcano pack something besides Birkenstocks, not ideal volcano hiking shoes. On the right is the active crater. It is really hard to see but on the far side, where the rocks are greenish, sulfur gas is escaping.
Then it was on to the hot springs which were really more like luke-warm springs but they were warmer than the surrounding water. We had to jump off the boat and swim about 30 yards to get to them.

Then it was off to Oia. On the way the tour guides pointed out the the end of Santorini looks like a crocodiles snout - It really does.
On the dock in Oia. There are two ways to get from the dock up to the town; walk up 500 steps or....
Ride a donkey. Not much of a choice...
This is what the donkey path / steps look like after you get to the top. Here is the famous sunset....




Then one more morning of walking around and it was an 8 hr ferry ride back to Athens and then back to Bangalore and the real world; well surreal world at least...


Look close, this bush is covered with snails...just thought that was interesting.

Sandwhich Making 101

Sheila, my cook, likes to combine Indian and Continential dishes. I really enjoy the variety this creates especially since she frequently makes pasta dishes with Indian vegetables and spices (pasta isn't usually part of Indian cooking). Another specialty of hers is veggie sandwhiches. I like these sandwhiches; they are simple and a nice change of pace (and truth be told they remind me of the US since I basically live on chicken and turkey sandwhiches there).

The problem with the sandwhiches is she makes them at 10:00 am. By the time I get home the tomatos have soaked the bread and I have a pile of mushy bread and vegetables. As many people know, I will eat almost anything from escargot to dumpster pizza (that's a different story), but I am real fussy about food texture; I just don't like mushy stuff. I can't eat bananas that are getting just a little brown, I buy tomatos that are underripe so they are firm and apples have to be completely crisp and I've never liked pudding; that unholy concoction that can't decide if it wants to be liquid or solid.

Anyway, to solve this problem I left a note for Sheila saying "Sheila I really like the sandwhiches but the bread is soggy by the time I eat them. Please prepare all the indredients but don't assemble them. I'll do that when I get home."

The next time sandwhiches were on her menu that is exactly what she did....with a twist. She also left me assembly instructions. So if you ever want to make a killer veggie sandwhich using 3 slices of bread here is "Sandwhich Assembly 101":

Hi Sir,
Sir to assemble the sandwhiches first sread egg mayonnaise (white sauce) + cucumber + tomato + bread + leaf + cucumber + egg + bread.

After successful sandwhich construction I think I am ready to try my hand at pasta....

Anyone Hungary?

Even before arriving in Bangalore I joined the Bangalore Expats Club (BEC). The BEC is a large organization of expats from all over the world. I've met people from China, Malaysia, Finland, Norway, Germany, France, England, Hungary and a dozen other countries. During the winter months I constantly entertained myself by asking people from "cold" places like Norway and Russia the average temperature back home. 100% of the time Minnesota/Minneapolis was colder. If you are reading this in Minneapolis congratulations, you are surviving in one of coldest cities on earth. I had it rough in India too though. Delhi had to cancel school several days because of the unbearable cold. It got down to 37F! Before anyone asks how I possibly survived such hardship remember Bangalore is far south of Delhi. We dipped down into the 50's a couple times causing parents to bundle kids from head to toe but to my knowledge no fatalities resulted and school went on as planned.

Back to the BEC. In addition to a weekly happy hour on Friday night the BEC also holds many charity events. The most recent was a Black & White Ball - everyone had to wear only black and white. Maybe this is a challenge for parts of the world less chromatically challenged than America but given that everyone in corporate America (myself included) owns at least 3 black suits and 7 white shirts, it wasn't too difficult. I upped the difficulty level by wearing a black jacket from here and a white shirt from Egypt.

There was a silent auction with all proceeds going to charity at which I won an authentic home-cooked Hungarian dinner. I had no idea at the time what Hungarian cooking meant, Hungarian goulash jokes notwithstanding. As far as I knew Hungarians ate Turkey deep fried in Greece (ba dum bump - even I have to admit that is a horrible joke).

The president of the BEC, Barbara, is a friend of mine. Barbara is originally from Hungary. She and her husband Robert had just returned from a trip there. She brought back a good supply of Hungarian spices and ingredients. Since she was going to do the cooking I had absolute confidence the meal would be good. I attended a charity Christmas cookie baking party which she organized so I was well aware of the kind of kitchen Barbara runs. Let's just say when she assigns you to put sugar on cookies you damn well better start sprinkling sugar NOW!

After a 2 month delay we finally found a day on which we were both free. Along a couple other epicurian Targeteers I went to Barbara's house for my first taste of Hungarian cooking. The meal was fantastic! We all enjoyed an eggplant appetizer, drunken chicken (chicken marinated in white wine), the most delicious potato dish I've had in a long, long, time, and apple strudel for desert. Along the way we also took care of a bottle of Hungarian wine. In addition to being great cooks, the Hungarians know how to make wine!

So THANK-YOU Barbara for a great meal and introducing me to Hungarian cooking. This was the best 2700 rupees I've spent yet!

Politicians, can't live with 'em; pass the beer nuts

It is election time in the state of Karnataka.

In almost every aspect of Indian society it is easy to point out the differences between India and the US. Politics is no different. There are more parties, multi-day elections, different election rules and much higher voter turnout.


My personal opinion however is the similarities outnumber the differences in virtually every situation. It is eminently more fun to look for similarities, the parallels, the underlying patterns that, at the end of the day, lead to that most philosophical, metaphysical, perpetual conclusion; people are people. If nothing else, it keeps me humble since it requires me to sit back and realize how strange are my customs and those of America.

Just as American politicians "promise" to fix everything they consider broken when there is no way for them to know if their policies will be successful (think gas prices, national debt, Iraq, poverty, education, etc. etc. etc.) so to do Indian politicians make unrealisitc promises; world-class infrastructure, free power to farmers, no power outages, ending government corruption, etc. etc. etc.

Politicians everywhere also seem willing to try anything, no matter how ridiculous or gimmicky, to get elected. In the US we get classics like "baby-kissing; anyone who can kiss a helpless infant incabable of objecting is obviously qualified to hold a political post and bus & train tours to connect with the "average" American. Setting aside the fact there is no "average American", if bus and train tours are such an effective way to find out what the people are thinking why are they only done during campaigns? And my personal favorite, contemporary political ads that say with absolute certainty and sincerity you should cast your vote based up the fact that "My opponent is worse than me."

Again, Indian politicians are just as savvy regarding gimmicky campaign tactics from giving away TVs to anyone who will promise to vote for them to providing free booze at campaign rallies (Karnataka actually had to impose a ban on importation of liquor from neighboring states to prevent mass political inebriation. If only it was as easy to prevent politicians from sounding like they spend too much time in meetings with their good Buddies Weiser and Jimmy Beam). They also widely subscribe to the "My opponent is worse than me" strategy.

This election season however, has given me a new favorite political gimmick (as well as finally bringing me to the point of this posting). The headline of an article from The Times of India says it all:

I don't know if the article is legible, clicking the picture should open a larger version but just in case, here is the executive summary:

Some time in the past a shepherd named Balomama who was later declared a saint, gave 1100 sheep to his followers. The descendants of these sheep are now free-range, weed-eating, fertilizer generators for which farmers pay their current shepherds nominal amounts. The sheep also have the ability to guarantee an election victory to any politician who dresses up like a shepherd and performs a pooja (religious offering) to them. The caption of the picture reads: "Basaravaj Bommai (center), dressed as a shepherd, performs a pooja to seek the blessings of sheep at the Balomama jatre." Another political hopeful is quoted in the article as saying, "I am confident I will win this time to serve the people."

There was no analysis of which political parties the sheep seem to prefer based upon prior election results.

Back to People are People... on the surface this may seem ridiculous (it certainly does to me and based on the sheep's expression I'm pretty sure it does to him too) but as I thought about it more it occurred to me that American politicians are doing the same thing when they seek endorsments from religious groups. To really take the analogy to the extreme, religious leaders often call their followers "flocks". When a politician makes a point of being seen in a church or seeks the support of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, or the current politico-religious leader du jour, as they very often do, they are really seeking to gain the votes of "the flock", in other words, seeking the approval of the sheep. The difference is these sheep actually have the right to vote and would be equally at home shepherded by Roger Waters as by their given pastor.


Closing note: Roger Waters was the main lyricyst for Pink Floyd. On their classic 1977 album Animals, he used various animals, dogs, pigs, and sheep, as metaphors for types of people and human behavior. In the song "Sheep", about those who blindly follow their leaders and live by the motto "Ignorance is Bliss", he wrote:

Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air
You better watch out
There may be dogs about


I've looked over Jordan and I have seen
Things are not what they seem.


What do you get for pretending the danger's not real
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes
Now things are really what they seem
No, this is no bad dream.

Sri Lanka weekend - April '08

I spent April 4-6 in Sri Lanka with 3 friends from Target. Sri Lanka is a tiny, tropical island nation off the southern tip of India. It is also a short 90 minute flight from Bangalore.

We arrived in the capital, Colombo late on Friday night April 4. We met our guide Joseph at the airport. The first thing he asked us to do was give his van a push as the starter wasn't working. The rest of the weekend he always parked on a hill. Fortunately in a mountainous country it is pretty easy to find hills on which to park.

The next morning we needed to be up early to get to our first stop, the Elephant Orphanage by 9:30 am to see the elephants getting fed. Since it was a 3 hr drive we had to leave at 6:00. Getting up at 5:00 am did allow me to see the sunrise at our hotel. We were at a beachside hotel. This outrigger canoe was well up on the beach waiting for high tide so the fisherman could put it in.

On the drive to the town of Kandy, where the elephant orphanage is located, we got our first good look at Sri Lanka.

Welcome to the Jungle... I'm the one in the "Indiana Jones" hat. Whenever I wear this hat I want to be referred to as Indiana Balthazor

This was an unplanned elephant ride. Riding an elephant is extraordianarily uncomfortable. We only did the 15 minute ride. A 30 min. and 45 min .option were available. We all agreed 15 min. was plenty for our elephant-unaccostomed asses.

Street scenes and signs can be the most interesting sites. Anyone want to shop at the House of Bag or grab a snack at the Eat Me Food Court?

The elephant orphanage currently has about 70 elephants. The majority of the heard was hanging out in a palm tree grove when we arrived. Soon however it was time for their morning bath and drink.

The elephants bathe in a nearby river. To get to the river they walk down a street of shops to the river bank. I took two videos of the procession. I can't figure out how to rotate the 2nd one so you'll have to look at it sideways.

Elephants eat a lot of wood. Since paper is made of wood pulp it is possible to make paper from all the undigested pulp in elephant poop. Don't believe me. Read the sign...

In manufacturing these are known as raw material and finished goods...


I made a new friend along the way. Isn't he cute. (I think it is a "he", I didn't really do a thorough inspection)

Another unplanned stop was an herb farm. They grow everything from coffee to pineapple, to cinnamon and cardamon. All of which they make into medicinal oils and cooking spices. The guide did tell us that the reason people in India and Sri Lanka eat such spicey foods is that you have to maintain the internal and exteranal temperatures the same or the body gets unbalanced and you will have health problems. Riiigth... By that reasoning everyone in MN should stick to a diet of ice cream and popcicles from Nov. - Apr. I didn't tell him that though.

Lunch was at a restaurant the seems to have trouble keeping track of the calendar.

And then we finally arrived in Kandy. Kandy is a beautiful city in the mountains. The roads in Kandy are almost wide enough to accomodate the busses that routinely travel on them. Usually they were going the opposite direction as us. Since they were bigger we generally had to pull waaaay over to let them by.

A performance of traditional Sri Lankan dances was pretty cool especially the grand finale; fire walking.

This was the downtown shopping bazaar in Kandy. You could find everything from counterfeit Polo shirts to counterfeit Rolexes and even some shoes with an interesting brand name.
By walking next to this Buddhist monk I'm trying to gain total enlightenment on my death bed so at least I'll have that going for me, which is nice.


Finally, a nice hotel. If you are ever in Sri Lanka I highly recommend it. It would probably be easier to find if I could remember the name.

The last stop before returning to Colombo was an incredible botanical garden just outside Kandy.


The trees and bamboo grow incredibly large in tropical climates.

Apparently this guy lounging in the middle of the garden misunderstood "Botanical" as "Bovine" baa-dum-bum.
One section of the garden had a path lined with evergreens that were completely innundated with fruit bats. Each of the dark spots on this tree is bat. Fruit bats are huge. They have a wingspan of around 2.5 feet. They look about twice as large as a pigeon when they fly. We have them in Bangalore too but I've never seen so many at once.

This is a single tree that covers almost 2000 sq meters (that's about 21,500 sq ft to you and me)

On the way back to Colombo the jungle did exactly what I thought a jungle should do; after a hot muggy morning we had an afternoon rain. After the rain the jungle was steaming and clouds rolled over the tree tops.



It was a gret weekend but I guess I got a little tired by the end of 3 full days.

Baked Easter Eggs

A couple days before Easter I had the bright idea to color Easter Eggs (no pun intended). A few fellow Targeteers were interested so I undertook the task of finding the required materials. As with most things unique to America this is more difficult than going to the nearest Target and buying one of the 38 different Paaz Easter Egg decorating kits in the Easter display.

My driver Stephen is a Christian and attends church regularly. Assuming if anyone would know about Easter eggs it would be him I asked on Thursday night "Stephen, do people in India make Easter eggs?" He paused for a few seconds; this should have been my first clue to engage the 'misunderstanding early warning system or MEWS' but I missed my cue. "Yes, yes, Easter egg."

"Good, some of us are going to decorate Easter Eggs at my apartment on Saturday.
I'll need eggs, white vinegar and food coloring. Do you know where to get food coloring?"

Had I been less eager to believe it could actually be this easy I would have recognized that I'd just made Classic Ex-Pat Mistake #4; Trying to put things into context.

"Uh, Fatima Bakery, very famous bakers."
"Ok, so you are going to get food coloring at the bakery. Sounds good."
"Uhh."
This brief exchange is a fabulous example Classic Ex-Pat Mistake #7; Reading between the lines and finding meaning that isn't there.

As a side note, Stephen says "Uhh" a lot. He has many cell phone conversations with another driver Shankar, in which the entire conversation seems to constist of "Uh Shankar, uhh, ahh, naa, ahh, ya-ya, ok." Shankar drives for Todd. I asked Todd once what Shankar says during these conversations. He said it is about the same on his end and he assumed Stephen was saying something more. But back to the Easter Eggs...

Friday morning I gave Stephen the shopping list. This is it verbatim:

4 dozen eggs (48)
Food Coloring / Dye
White Vinegar - It has to be white / clear

Note how I used highly explicit clarifiers to avoid misunderstanding; 4 dozen = 48, coloring is the same as dye, etc. Classic Ex-Pat Mistake #12; Forgetting the law of Synonym Asymetry - don't assume what is a synonym for you is also a synonym for someone in India. Or, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, in India its probably a goose.

Everything seemed fine so I settled into work for the day. At 11:30 Stephen came into my office or cabin as it is called here (see what I mean about Synonym Asymetery). He had a cake box in hand and a smile on his face. He opened the cake box to reveal 4 exquisitely decorated, egg-shaped cakes each about 5 times the size of a real egg.

"Did you buy 48 of these," I asked increduliously?
"Yes, Yes. Easter Egg."
"This isn't exactly what I wanted Stephen. I just want to take chicken eggs and turn them colors."
A quick web search produced a nice picture of what I consider to be "Easter Eggs".

"Ooh, ya ya, that different Paul."
"So what do we do," I asked, fully assuming I would be giving Easter egg cake to everyone I knew.

"I return."
"You can return bakery items?" It was at this point that I realized what he was actually telling me when he said 'Fatima Bakery' the day before. I'm slow but eventually I get there.
"Ya ya."
"Ok, so you will return these and get 48 chicken eggs, food coloring and vinegar." Notice how I eliminated all the elaboration, adjectives, clarifiers, and context. Again, a little slow sometimes but eventually the light bulb pops on.

That night I got home and there were 48 eggs in the fridge; food coloing and vinegar on the counter. I don't know what ever happened to the cakes.

So the moral of the story: Eventually I'll learn to just say "Stephen I need 48 eggs, food coloring and vinegar" then close my mouth. I'm virtually positive I'll get 48 eggs, food coloring and vinegar on the first try.

Here's what it was all for... Happy Easter