Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
-Five Man Electrical Band: Signs

Signs are funny things they attempt to anticipate questions that haven't been asked, convey information, lessen stress, even improve our lives and sometimes unintentionally, they really are "funny things" and provide a good laugh....Here are some I've encountered in the last category while traveling around India ...

Think I'll get some Decent Poultry for dinner tonight - but wait... what is this right next door...

Excellent Poultry, that's more like it but hold on...

Famous Chicken two shops down! That's where my rupees are going

I feel like such a loser but what can I do about it?

What if I want to pay with something other than money???

And how do you become a winner - by enforcing critical defense directives

Of course it's not just the defense department engaged in "Operation Urine"

Unfortunately the battle is going poorly

Don't pluck anything else for that matter either

I said No Plucking and wake up you lazy bum

I have no idea what this means but whoever painted it in Bangalore has a cousin in Jaisalmer

And here is his cousin....

Good idea but can't we find a more appealing word than "Pit"

Hey this place looks good. I actually stayed here but I had a hard time choosing my breakfast...

Israeli, Italian, Continental or Mececan.
Damn it, I'm really in the mood for Mexican - too bad

Guess I'll have some Spagatti with a side 'o American Chopsuy at Lasania's Italian restaurant

Finally something to eat - I've been craving a bread cake

Zorba the Budda! The Greeks aren't going to be happy about this

Just give me some meat but it better be from a trusted name in meat

Think I'll snack on some Tit bits - (if you think this is juvenile just wait a bit, a Tit bit if you will)

See I told you - more juvenile. I can't help it. I know it means but Sweets & Fast Food but come / cum on...

Ready for desert? In addition to Andre flavored ice cream they also have chocolate and vanilla

Simple, direct, and troubling

When you have a friend named Jamie you have to take this picture

After all that a Child beer would great. A nice blonde ale would really hit the spot

Hey, did anyone catch the check-out time? (This is the inside of the room door at the Rama Guest house)

There is so much useful info on this sign its amazing:
Do you want A/C or not?
Hot and Cold showers - why haven't other hotels caught on to this yet...Oh, maybe because this one is run by Canadians

I can't stop laughing long enough to make a smart ass comment

Good to see you too Captain

Safety first. This is the cabin of the Paragliding boat I was on in Goa

What could possibly go wrong with stopping a bunch of panicky people suspended by a really tiny looking metal cable several hundred feet in the air? It is for greater enjoyment

I said Don't Panic! DON'T PANIC! (this is in the elevator i.e. lift, in my apartment building)

Suddenly I feel kind of good...

Almost...Happy

Definitely feeling Happy

Disneyland is like Auschwitz compared to this place

Ooh Oh, happiness fading a little. I guess this means I shouldn't pluck them either

Shoe stealing, cocktail drinking monkeys - I'm really not happy anymore but what can I do...

The answer to all my problems, and not a cheap temporary solution like that loser bitch with the silver medal would provide. I presume the only problem she can't solve is how to spell "Money" correctly.

On to healthy living... I don't know though, the guy in the photo doesn't look all the healthy to me

For an extra 500 rupees he throws in a preventative apendectomy

Come to think of it I am having heart palpatations

My dog is having palpatations too but I'm in a real hurry, if only we could make just one stop

Screw all this healthy living. Let's just get our hair fixed

The Sikkim Tourism Development Corp is pretty proud of themselves

Maybe they should spend less on big signs and more on weed control so we can see what they want us to do

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you (this in in Gangtok, Sikkim and it really is one of the few litter and spit free zones I've been in yet)

It's sad when monkeys get to the point of allowing themselves to be used

How embarrassing would it be to be the one king who can't afford a Turkish Bath in the palace. All the other kings constantly laughing behind your back and calling you "Your Smelly Majesty"

Ever wonder where the internet is actually located? It's over there next to Rant-A-Motor Bike (I think Dennis Miller is part owner)

Some hotels have Seeing Eye Dogs to help people others take a different approach

This is just awesome

Not sure what a Fizzy Babe is but it's going in my pick-up line repertoire - "Hey Fizzy Babe, can I buy you a drink"?

Is it legal to post this sign on a cloudy day

And so do I Robert, so do I...